Shampoo Surprise
by Ryna-chan
Summary: Zelos finally has it: the shampoo that will change the world! ...or at least that's how he acts. What exactly did Raine put in that hair product? Lloyd's going to find out...
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Tales of Symphonia. If I did, Yuan would be a party member. **

**And take up four character slots in his awesomeness. **

* * *

The sky shone a beautiful sapphire, as the radiant sun glazed upon the rich green meadow. Birds chirped in unison of nature's song, and a gentle breeze uplifted the earth. 

...but that's not where this story begins.

_As thunder and lighting crashed in the most dramatic way possible, a figure wearing a tacky black robe cackled wildly, studying its creation._

"_Finally! It's complete!" the dark garbed person giggled, holding her creation high above her head. "I will make history..! History? HISTORY!" Her normally ice blue eyes turned into a pale sapphire, as if in some sort of trance._

_The woman cackled even more, much like the mad scientist that she was._

_Her creation did not seem to be any more than a syrupy-like substance, locked within a simple glass bottle. The fluid was transparent, comparable to water, but a light violet glow surrounded the liquid._

_After another few minutes of maniacal laughter, the female scientist choked on her own saliva. "Th-that was so cliché!" She wheezed heavily, clutching her throat._

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Lloyd Irving smiled widely at his freshly made oatmeal. He loved how the thick paste would warm his throat as he ate it; and this batch he had made himself, so it was extra hot, not lukewarm like when Dirk prepared it. The brunette slowly raised the utensil to his lips; he could already feel the steam of his breakfast…

"BUD!"

The twin swordsman cursed loudly as the spoon of his precious oatmeal fell from his grasp, only to be replaced by a pink and black gloved hand.

"Hey, how're ya doing, Bud?" a deep voice the brunette knew all too well spoke into his ear, tickling his cheek.

"Get off me, Zelos!" the nineteen-year-old growled, already annoyed that his breakfast was interrupted. With one big shove, Lloyd managed to get the large familiar weight off of his shoulders.

"Wah! My Bud doesn't like me anymore!" Zelos Wilder mock pouted, flicking his lengthy scarlet hair out of his crystal blue eyes. The swordsman, like Lloyd, still looked the same, with his ridiculous pink and black outfit.

Considering all the "compliments" the brunette had received in the past, his same red outfit looked just as outrageous, though.

Lloyd turned to glare at his 'bud'. "I was _eating_!"

"Ooo, SCAry!" The red head whimpered slightly, still grinning like a madman. "Bud, guess what?"

The brunette slumped in his chair in defeat. There was no talking sense into the 'Great' Zelos Wilder. "What?" He asked tiredly, knowing it was easier to humor the ex-chosen.

"Look what Professor Raine gave me to try!"

A small glass bottle was shoved into Lloyd's face.

It didn't look like anything to make such a big deal over, so it slightly sparked the twin swordsman's curiosity. "What is it?" The brunette asked, flipping the small vile between his fingers.

"Shampoo!" Zelos announced happily as he bounced around the kitchen in his eagerness.

Lloyd blinked.

"Isn't it great???"

The brunette rolled his eyes. "Just when I thought it was something cool..."

"It's not just ordinary shampoo, it's special!" The red head sighed patiently. "Professor Raine and Yuan made it! Even that old man Kratos helped make it!"

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"_Yuan__!!"_

"_Ack!" A certain cerulean haired half elf ducked behind a large pile of books, sending dust that had collected over the years scattering all around the waxed wooden floor. Derris-Kharlan's one of many libraries made an excellent hiding place…the cobalt hoped. _

"_Yuan, when I find you…!" A tall auburn haired man donned in a purple outfit stomped into the seemingly abandoned library, his burgundy eyes narrowing in the dim lighting of candlelight. Kratos Aurion noticed the recently disrupted dust surrounding a stack of manuscripts and grinned evilly, light blue feathers swirling around him. "Sacred powers, cast your pur-"_

"_Okay! Okay!" Yuan stepped out from his hiding place, holding up what had started the whole game of 'Cat and Mouse'…a quite large tress of reddish-brown hair. "You win! I'll just put this back…"_

"_How can you…?" Kratos growled almost silently, clenching his hand over the sword he had strapped to his waist. "YOU SNIPPED IF OFF MY HEAD!!" Surely enough, if one looked close; there was a slight unevenness about the seraph's spiky hair, where the hair was obviously sliced with a sharp object. _

"_For the sake of Science!" The half elf argued futilely, waving the lock of hair as if a flag. "I needed a human hair sample for my research!"_

"_For the love of…! Stop treating me like something to study off of!" The swordsman felt his left eye twitch. Raine and her "Ruin Mode" was nothing compared to the cobalt when he felt the need to investigate an unknown matter. "Besides, what's the difference between human and half elf hair?"_

_Yuan went still for a moment. Slowly, the cobalt inched around the steaming auburn haired man, towards the open door. "Nothing really," he drawled expertly, distracting Kratos from his escape. "My hair is just too beautiful to chop off." With that, the half elf dashed out the door, his black cape fluttering behind. _

_The swordsman gaped at the empty doorway. _

_And gaped. _

_And gaped some more, just for good measure. _

"_**YU**__AN!!"_

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"Really?" Lloyd felt a smile tugging on his lips. "I couldn't imagine Dad offering his support for something like revolutionary shampoo…"

"Me nether…" Zelos nodded in agreement. "But he did! Anyways, let's try it!"

"Eh? Why me?" the brunette frowned slightly in suspicion. "Didn't the Professor want _you _to try it?"

"Yeah, well there's enough for both of us. To the shower!" Zelos dragged a kicking and screaming brunette out of the kitchen.

The oatmeal sat on the table, cold and somewhat forgotten.


	2. Chapter 2

**I reread the first chapter…It kinda sounds like it would be a ZelosXLloyd pairing…**

…**well, it's not. **

**I don't own Tales of Symphonia. If I did, Zelos would never die with his pretty orange wings. **

* * *

"Wah, Z-zelos don't!" Lloyd would've protested longer, had not his head was dunked into the freezing running water of the shower by said Zelos.

"Such a baby! Tsk." The chosen clicked his tongue irritably as he continued scrubbing the thick tresses of brown hair to get it damp. Zelos couldn't care less that both he and Lloyd were getting their outfits ruined by the spraying water; the red head was too excited to try out the mystery hair product on the brunette first.

Course, Zelos was not so stupid to not be suspicious why Raine would want him to try out the new shampoo. The only logical choice would be to try the experiment on someone else, just to check if it was safe. Lloyd was the perfect sacrifice.

The brunette flailed his arms to no avail; his was the guinea pig whether he liked it or not.

The red head carefully held the vile and poured the small amount of liquid onto the twin swordsman's scalp; how he accomplished that feat single handedly with a panicked nineteen year old, no one will ever understand.

With expert movements the older swordsman not only lathered and rinsed Lloyd's hair free of the foreign soap, but he did so with minimum wetness from the water on his part. An enormous achievement if the ex chosen did say so himself.

Finally freed from the red head, Lloyd attempted his best glare with half of his messy brown hair sticking to his face. "I don't like you at this moment. Leave now or prepare to be skewered painfully." Both of his sword arms twitched violently, proving that his threat was perfectly valid; especially if his Material Blade was one flight of stairs away.

"Hey!" Zelos smiled brightly, "You look just like your dad when-" The red head visibly paled; an agonizing memory of pain flashed through his mind. "W-when…uh, byeseeyalater!!!" Zelos ran for the life he held so dear out of the bathroom and out of the small forest house, praying that the brunette didn't follow him.

Lloyd broke his glower with a wide grin. "Gotta thank Dad for that someday."

**-------------------------------------------------**

_Kratos smirked for no apparent reason whatsoever. He even felt like breaking into a chuckle, which was even slightly scaring the seraph. The swordsman turned the fit of laughter into coughs, but it still unsettled him greatly. _

"_What's wrong, Kratos?" Yuan chanced sticking out his head from behind the wardrobe he was hiding to see what had the auburn haired man so alarmed. _

"…_I do not know." The swordsman scowled at the dust covered tile floor. "For some reason, I feel the inclination to utterly slaughter the Chosen and praise my son."_

"_You want to kill Colette?"_

"_No, the other chosen."_

"_Oh. Well, doesn't everyone?"_

"_So it seems." Kratos nodded to himself in a somewhat understandingly manner. "Perhaps it is because of the last encounter I had with the Chosen."_

**(Begin FlashBack)**

"Hey old man, look how I fixed your outfit!"

"…You put…pink lace on my favorite armor…"

"What's with the frown? Pink looks great with purple; and besides, you're fruity enough as it is!"

"Chosen…!"

**(End FlashBack)**

"_Wow. That's sad." The half elf shook his head, pitying the misfortune of his former companion-in-arms. "And you know what else?"_

"_Hm?" Kratos tilted his head inquisitively, with his arms folded calmly on his chest. _

"_I agree with him." Yuan's smile was __daring__ the auburn haired man to attempt something. If the cobalt got some sort of twisted pleasure from teasing the Battle God himself, Yuan never told a soul about it. _

"_You are __**dead**__."_

"…_should I start running?" The half elf was already in a sprinting position, even to the point of adjusting his cape for better movement. Strangely enough, the lock of reddish brown hair from earlier was still clutched in his gloved hand. _

_Kratos stared blankly at his friend for only a moment before sighing in defeat and got into a pursuit stance himself. "…Yes."_

**------------------------------------------------------------------**

Lloyd felt his head for any large bumps or mutations of any sort. He then ran his fingers through his hair many times for any abnormality. Nothing seemed wrong or out-of-place, yet the twin swordsman was anxious to identify what was in the formulated shampoo.

There was no scent or any residue left to investigate either.

The brunette whimpered softly while clasping his head, Lloyd's childish instincts getting the better of him. What if his head exploded? Or he somehow bursts into flames? OR TURNED STUPID!?!?

"This is all Zelos's fault…" The twin swordsman growled quietly to himself, peeking out his bathroom window for any sign of the ex chosen.

Predictably, Zelos was nowhere to be seen.

"Okay…time to visit the Professor." Lloyd chuckled softly, "It's always an adventure for me…"

**---------------------------(Somewhere else in Iselia Forest…)---------------------------------**

Zelos Wilder glanced around himself in a paranoid state, still reminiscing from the memory of a certain purple donned seraph; which must've been horrifying to leave the carefree red head such a trauma.

Finally convinced that no one was chasing him with Death in mind, the swordsman sat down on a log to momentarily rest.

Birds chirped in peacefulness and the sun was shinning beautifully through the green trees of the not-so-dense forest. A soft breeze gently passed and everything was calm with the late morning.

Amongst all the magnificence of nature, the ex chosen laughed nervously as he tugged on his scarlet hair.

"I think I'm lost."


	3. Chapter 3

…**Hey, look, I updated. **

**Ha, reviews make me happy. Sorry about not anwsering them all though. I still am grateful. **

**I don't own Tales of Symphonia. If I did, the story would end completely different with the character Lloyd has the highest relationship with. Seriously, Kratos should be the one joining him up in the sky at the end; not Colette. **

* * *

Professor Raine Sage hovered over her latest experimentation; a bright yellow rubber duck tied to a thin helix made of steel situated above a boiling pot of some type of emerald ooze. Slowly, the half elf lowered the bath toy into the concoction, resulting in a shrill hiss. The unknown substance transformed into a sickly jade hue, and as Raine lifted the wire back up, there was nothing left of the unfortunate rubber duck.

"Excellent…" The would-be mad scientist mumbled incoherent terminology of the matter of rubber and all its characteristics. She scribbled fervently on a small leather notebook she held, laughing quietly to herself in between. "Just one more test…"

Living on the outskirts of Luin certainly had its benefits. Raine could test on any subject as she pleased, and no one to stop and/or distract her. No Genis, who was studying at Sybak, to pester her, no Colette to trip over her experiments, no Zelos to crack a joke every ten seconds, and certainly NO Lloyd to completely destroy her creations.

Life was perfect for the half elf, Raine Sage.

The researcher decided to break for tea when she heard a boisterous tap at her door. Slightly disgruntled by the sudden interruption of her relaxing time, Raine answered the door to her quaint cottage home.

To the hair elf's astonishment and horror, who else to stand at her doorstep than the Eternal Swordsman himself, Lloyd Irving. With a sheepish grin, the brunette began, "Hey Professor, just th-"

With a decisive slam, a wooden door was met with the twin swordsman instead of the Professor.

Lloyd tried to think of happier thoughts than his own teacher slamming the door on his face, but failed to do so miserably. Again his sword arms twitched for hopes in slicing the door down, but some sort of conscious prevented him from doing so.

A pity for the brunette.

"Are you answering the door anytime soon?" Lloyd called out, attempting to sound only amused and not annoyed by his former instructor's reaction to his sudden appearance.

No response came from inside.

The red-clad young man checked his waist to make sure his Material Blade was strapped to his sides. The flame sword brightly glowed a radiant crimson, and the ice counterpart blazed with white luminosity. _Not long now, my pretties…_Lloyd inwardly cackled to himself, gently patting his weapon while eyeing the oh-so-fragile door with distaste. _You'll taste this wood soon enough_

"Lloyd Irving Aurion, you had better not be thinking about cutting this door down." Raine's authoritative voice came from behind the wretched piece of timber. "I just polished it with expensive wax."

_And that's gonna stop me…why? _"I can't guarantee anything, Professor." Was Lloyd's simple reply. He shrugged slightly, forgetting that she couldn't see the brunette. "You know I like to cut things…" he trailed off, smiling wider and wider. Raine couldn't leave him outside after he had said that.

"Ugh, you're just like that Yuan!!" the Professor raged from behind the closed door. "**'**_I can't guarantee anything, Raine_**' '**_You __**know**__ I can't read your mind…_**' '**_Why don't you do something about yourself?_**'** ARGH! What an arrogant son of-"

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"_Ah-__**CHOO!!**__" _

"_Yuan?"_

"_AH-CHOOO!!"_

"_Uh, Yuan…are you allergic to-?"_

"_No." the cobalt said flatly, rubbing his nose with a light blue handkerchief. "I'b not ablergic toob anything."_

_Kratos raised an eyebrow in skepticism. "You begin sneezing violently, and you inform me that you have no allergies?"_

"_Yeb." Yuan narrowed his eyes, tears from his running eyes pooling at his cheeks. "Subone is talking ebilly about me. EBILLY!" Instantaneously, the half elf's aqua eyes flashed brightly in insanity._

_But only for a moment._

"…_right." The swordsman grimaced, he could barely understand his friend with the dysfunctional nose. "Someone's talking about you…evilly"_

_The two seraphim had been enjoying a break after running around Derris-Kharlan for hours. At least, they thought it was hours; one didn't know time on the planet where the elves once lived. _

_They were merely resting on a random bench outside when Yuan began to sneeze a great deal, causing a merit of concern for the auburn haired man. _

"_Be that it may, are you certain that you are all right?" Kratos questioned, struggling against his urge to punch Yuan in the nose; he sounded so terrible!_

_The cobalt blew his nose into the handkerchief, ridding the comical accent from his voice. "I bet it was Raine!" Yuan declared rather loudly, raking his fingers through his aqua hair. "She's always talking about me…" With mumbled words of "gossiper" and "dim-witted wrench", the half elf began to pace in front of the bench Kratos was resting on. The cobalt's dark black cape fluttered behind him as he did so, entertaining the swordsman to no end._

"_It's like part of his body…a tail…" Kratos's statement was lined with amusement, his burgundy eyes crinkled in silent laughter. _

_The cobalt glared at the humored auburn haired man. "I hate you."_

"_I hate you too, Bud." Kratos smirked widely._

"…" _Yuan blinked._

"…"

"…" _Yuan blinked once more._

"…_ARGH! Pretend I NEVER said that!!"_

**-------------------------------(Somewhere in Iselia forest _again_)-----------------------------**

Zelos's entire body tensed for an unknown reason. His cerulean eyes scrutinized the scenery of the forest, making sure to take every twig into observation. When he was finished scanning the greenery into memory, the ex chosen held the right side of his temple in meditation. "I…feel…a disturbance."

* * *

…**and now, everyone must be upset that they STILL don't know what's in that shampoo. Try reviewing...I might tell ya, 'mkay?**

…**and no one loves Zelos. Boo hoo. **


	4. Chapter 4

…**Just so I can clear this up with myself, Professor Raine called Yuan "arrogant son of Mithos" in the last chapter. We all know why THAT'S an insult. XD (no offence to his fans)**

**This is the last chapter. Sad. Although, I could plan a follow up…**

**I don't own the ENGLISH (or Japanese, for that matter) Tales of Symphonia. If I did, Kratos and Yuan would fight Lloyd's party as a team. **

**And show their awesome PWNage skillz. **

* * *

"…And Zelos poured it on you instead?"

"Yep."

"I see…"

Lloyd had somehow convinced Professor Raine to let him into her house, and now the two were discussing what had happened earlier that day over a cup of tea.

"Bleah!" The brunette sputtered the rest of the hot liquid in its bitterness. _How __does__ she manage to down this stuff?_ Lloyd tried to think of an answer, but as always when he attempted to answer anything…

…he got distracted.

"What's this?" The twin swordsman poked the pot that contained the sickly jade substance Raine was experimenting with earlier. With the brunette's probing, of course the pot tipped over, spilling all of her research on the floor.

"AH!" the half elf professor stared in horror of all her wasted effort.

…and was reminded why she had fought to keep her former student outside of her house.

"So…" Lloyd winced at the glare that was sent his way. "Sorry about that. Can you tell me what was in that shampoo by the way?"

Professor Sage narrowed her sapphire eyes. Her research…ruined! Then, a twisted grin appeared on the normally calm countenance. "Oh, it's nothing to worry about…" She began in a syrupy sweet voice, "It's only that you will erupt into flames. In one hour."

"W-what…?!" Lloyd visibly paled.

The silver haired half elf enjoyed the awkward silence that had enveloped them. Lloyd seemed to be on the verge of fainting in complete shock and dismay, and Rain merely smirked at the eternal swordsman.

After a few more uncomfortable seconds, the former teacher rolled her sapphire eyes in annoyance. "I'm being dishonest."

The brunette gained his color back on his face. "Oh…" He breathed in relief.

If Lloyd received 500 gald for all the ill at ease silences that he had experienced, he would be as wealthy as Zelos himself. …And that's a lot considering the brunette's arithmetic capabilities!

"It's actually quite a wonderful substance," the Professor droned, transforming into lecture mode, "Not only does it leave your hair silky smooth…" she patted the bouncy spikes of the brunette. "But…" she blinked, realization spreading over her features. "Name a food."

"Huh?" Lloyd raised an eyebrow. Now he was _really_ confused.

"Come on, just say something."

"Uh…chocolate…?" The twin swordsman looked on as his former teacher dashed into her kitchen, coming back with an unwrapped piece of the sweet he replied with.

Before Lloyd could question anything, Raine placed the chocolate on top of his head.

A tingly sensation encased his scalp, and the eternal swordsman yelped in surprise. Soon, the feeling was gone, and in its place was the wonderful aroma of…

"Chocolate?" Lloyd drew down one of his locks of hair, sniffing it. The scent of the sugary matter was within his _hair_.

"The shampoo itself doesn't have a scent, but the chemicals react to the acids found in many things, especially food. After it takes a fragrance, the scent doesn't go away until the next shampooing." The half elf grinned widely, a strange glint in her eyes. "I see now that it works. Isn't it fantastic?!"

The professor was so busy talking; she didn't notice that her ex student was munching on his tresses.

"LLOYD! STOP EATING YOUR HAIR!!!"

**-----------------------------------------------------------------**

_Kratos studied a bottle that had an exact replica of the shampoo that a certain brunette received, but how would the seraph know?_

"_So, it changes into the scent of whatever it touches, correct?" The auburn haired man considered throwing the bottle to break it and be evil, but decided better against it. Yuan would throw a tantrum. _

_The mentioned cobalt nodded eagerly, overjoyed that someone besides Raine was interested in the development. "And it's a conditioner too!"_

_If __Yuan__ received 500 gald for all the ill at ease silences that he had experienced, he would be as wealthy as…Lloyd with his experiences! _

"_Anyways, why don't you try it?" the half elf smiled childishly, almost hopping up and down in excitement. _

_Kratos studied the concoction for a moment longer. His burgundy orbs scrutinized the liquid cautiously, and he gently tapped the small vile. The purple clad man narrowed his eyes. "Alright then."_

"_Great! Now this wasn't a complete waste!" Naturally, Yuan chose the moment to wave the portion of Kratos's hair that he __still__ had. Unfortunately, the cobalt didn't keep a great grip on it, and the light colored hair flew from his gloved hand…_

…_into the original owner's face. _

_Now, being slapped with your own hair would be a shock to anyone, so it wasn't a surprise that the purple clad man stood rigidly for a half of a minute, gawking at his friend. _

_Yuan winced at his mistake, mentally counting off the seconds until the other seraph would give chase. Three…two…one…!_

_The half elf broke into a desperate scurry, carefully keeping his distance from any dead ends in the many hallways of what they call their home. Kratos gave pursuit immediately, subconsciously stuffing the small vile into the folds of his outfit. _

_And the many hallways echoed with Kratos's treats and Yuan's screeching for forgiveness. _

**----------------------Somewhere on the ****outskirts**** of Iselia forest----------------------------**

The half elf Kate was enjoying a nice stroll through the woodland. She loved to meander through the trees; it helped her to relax. Her glasses sparkled in the early evening light that the forest somehow provided.

Just as she saw the clearing for the exit of the area, she heard an unnatural groan. The half elf tensed, as she perked her long ears for anymore sounds.

The green haired woman heard the noise again, and she began to look throughout the bushes for the source. Maybe an unlucky animal found itself in a hunter's trap?

"AHHH!!!" Kate screamed and ran out of the forest.

…For what she witnessed was the sight of a pink donned young man with long crimson hair, sprawled on the grass with foam frothing out of his mouth. His right leg twitched, but evidently Kate didn't see that.

* * *

**Does everyone remember Kate…? Good. **

…**and that was the weirdest ending I have ever seen/wrote. Oh well. **


End file.
